


All Saints Day

by kimbob



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Angst, Episode: s05e04 The End, Gen, M/M, Romance, Slash, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-11-16
Updated: 2011-11-15
Packaged: 2017-10-26 03:30:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/278175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimbob/pseuds/kimbob
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It began with the righteous man and his savior. It shall end that way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Though the path is plain and smooth for men of good will,  
he who walks it will not travel far, and will do so only with  
difficulty, if he does not have good feet: that is,  
courage and a persevering spirit."  
\- Saint John of the Cross

 

****

Lightening flashed followed by a loud clap of thunder. Castiel fought the urge to stand out in the storm, raise his head to the sky and cleanse himself of his many sins. He snorted to himself as he realized it was the drugs making him feel poetic. They were also making his veins feel scraped raw and hot at the same time, while making his head feel like a helium balloon.

Lightening flashed again and Cas counted to three before thunder followed, so loud it shook the frame of his cabin. He leaned his head against the glass pane of his window as he sighed heavily as he thought of the argument he’d had with their fearless leader just mere hours ago. Words were thrown at him thoughtlessly. Dean had of course used his favorites such as ‘Junkie’ and ‘Useless’. While he just stood there with a smug smile and a bitter laugh and taken it. Now that he thought about it, it wasn’t really an argument at all. He swallowed down the swirling feelings of hatred, pain, sorrow and unyielding love as he thought about Dean.

If he thought real hard he could remember when all he felt was unyielding love for Dean Winchester; when he looked at Dean with a reverence that words couldn’t even describe. His true self would give anything to have those feelings back. They were sure and clear. Even after his brothers left this plane and he awakened irrevocably human, he was still okay. He had Dean and vice versa. But that all changed the day Dean had tried to say yes to Michael. He knew it had been hopeless, but Dean was stubborn. Dean had yelled yes until his throat was raw and it was that day that Castiel watched Dean change to the man he was today.

Castiel turned away from the storm with another heavy sigh. He tried to shake his melancholy thoughts as he slowly made his way toward the other side of the cabin. ‘Ridiculous human feelings.’ He thought to himself. Obviously the cocktail he had taken an hour ago did nothing to numb the feelings and swirling thoughts he wished to get rid of. He popped two amphetamines, hopeful that he’ll sleep through the night as he had a long day ahead of him tomorrow. He had an orgy to prepare for.

The edges of his vision began to grow fuzzy and he smiled hazily to himself as he reached over and blew out the candles on his bedside table. He collapsed back against his pillow and closed his eyes.  


“Awaken Castiel.” A soft voice whispered. “Open your eyes and see what is in front of you.”  


The familiar voice made his ears hurt, but he listened, opening his eyes and staring up at the hooded figure above him. “Raziel.” He whispered his voice hoarse. It didn’t surprise him that he could recognize his brethren. He hadn’t dreamed of the host and its counterparts in so long, it filled him with a sadness he was all too familiar with. “This isn’t real.” He said softly. “I’m dreaming.”  


Raziel lifted the hood from his head, revealing a young man with dark eyes. “You are. But this is very real.” He said with a deep voice. “This dreamscape is the only way to communicate with you.”

Castiel wanted to sigh as he glanced around his darkened cabin. He probably shouldn’t have taken those last two pills. He was in no mood for-

“It is sad to see you this way Castiel.” Raziel said with sadness in his voice. “Angel of Thursday. Righteous. Single minded in service to our father. To the righteous man.”

Castiel stared at the figure his subconscious had thought up with an impressed arch of his eyebrow. The words hit him like a blow to the gut. He swallowed down the painful lump he felt rising up his throat. “This is interesting to say the least.” He glared as he continued. “ That Castiel no longer exists.”

The Angel of Thrones stared down at his brother. “Yes. He does.” He said and reached out with a hand, ignoring Castiel’s loud protest.

Pain. All-encompassing burning pain is what Cas felt as the hand touched his chest. As quick as it was there, it was gone, in its place soothing warmth he thought he’d never feel again. It was love. It was peace. It was the surety of faith and light. It was grace.

Raziel’s hand fell away and he left Castiel a gasping mess of tears. “We do not have much time.” Raziel said very softly.  
Castiel slowly sat up as he stared at the Angel with wide eyes. “How?” He asked.

Raziel sat beside his brother and folded his hands in his lap. “Shortly after Lucifer began the destruction of earth, All Angels of the Sixth order set out to find Father of Heaven.” Raziel sighed. “To say we were unsuccessful would be an understatement of amazing proportions. We were on this plane for twenty nine days, Scattered about to five corners of the earth. On the thirtieth day our connection to the host was cut off completely.” He paused and closed his eyes in obvious pain Castiel was all too familiar with. When he opened them, they were burning red. “It weakened the orders powers considerably We cannot move as we usually do.It was then that we realized that Lucifer had made his move.”  


Cas shook his head in confusion. “But, I thought everyone had abandoned…” He trailed off. “I felt it. They left. They saw this world was lost and-“

“No.” Raziel cut in. “We have found out that Lucifer has a Cambion in his possession.”

Castiel’s eyes widened in surprise. “Cambion.” He whispered. “The cambion is responsible for the host’s destruction?”

Raziel shook his head. “The host is not destroyed. It is merely cut off from this plane.”

Castiel swallowed this information, feeling a rising hope pushing aside the hopelessness he had been feeling for years. “Raziel. Why…why have you come to me? I am still merely human, a poor excuse for one.”

Raziel stared at Castiel with a long penetrating stare before answering. “I have heard the stories of your rescue of the righteous man. I hold the keys to all the secrets and mysteries of this universe. You, Castiel, Angel of Thursday, will guide the righteous man in finding the Seven Rays.”

Still shrouded in doubt, Castiel shook his head. “I’m not…Dean and I are not what you think we are. We are broken.”

Raziel disagreed. “You are chosen.” He suddenly stood up. “I must go. This connection is weakening.” He leaned down and whispered in Enochian. “Thyne grace exists inside one’s heart. His forgiveness, I give unto you.”  
Raziel straightened and just as the edges of Castiel’s vision began to blur, he heard. “I will leave instructions.”

Castiel’s eyes fluttered open and he slowly sat up, feeling sober, raw and an overwhelming sense of hope. Castiel wiped the tears he felt falling down his cheeks and climbed out of bed. He had the sudden overwhelming urge to see Dean. He ran, barefoot into the rain, across the open area toward Dean’s cabin. By the time he got there, his hair was plastered to his forehead and his clothes were soaked through. Without bothering to knock, he pushed Dean’s door open. “Dean!” He was grabbed from behind and thrown against the wall, a forearm in his throat. His eyes widened and he help up his hands as a knife was suddenly against his cheek. “Dean?” He choked.

Dean stared at Cas, his green eyes wide with anger. He let the former Angel go with a growl. “What the fuck Cas?!” He said. “I could’ve cut your head off for barging in here like that. Don’t do that!”

Castiel leaned down as he tried to catch his breath. “We need to talk.” He panted. He glanced up at Dean, unsurprised to see him place the knife on the small table along with the other weapons.

Dean sat down in the chair, placed his foot up on the table and looked at Cas expectantly. “So,” He said. “Talk.”

The almost gone bottle of whiskey was the first thing he noticed after catching his breath; Dean’s glassy eyed stare was the second. “You’re drunk.” He said with surprise. Dean ever rarely let himself get this way anymore.

Dean ignored the comment. “What do you want Cas?” He tilted his head to the side. “And why do you look sober?”

Just as Castiel opened his mouth to answer, Chuck came barreling through the door, his eyes wide and red rimmed that had dean immediately reaching for his gun.

“Chuck?” Cas prompted hesitantly.

Chuck looked from Dean to Cas then back to Dean. “I…I think…I’m pretty sure I had a vision.”


	2. Chapter 2

"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life,  
what you shall eat or what you shall drink, nor about your  
body, what you shall put on. Is not life more than food,  
and the body more than clothing?"  
\- Saint Matthew, Matthew: 6:25

 

 

“See, I had been feeling a little off all day.” Chuck started then paused. His hand shook as he poured himself a drink from Dean’s bottle of whiskey. He brought the glass to his lips and quickly downed the drink before pouring himself another. He quickly downed that one and cleared his throat as the liquor burned its way down in a familiar way he hasn’t felt for years. Dean and Cas quietly watched the prophet, impatiently waiting for their friend to begin. Chuck poured his third and Dean sighed loudly.

“Chuck?” Castiel prompted gently.

Chuck downed the third drink and slammed the glass onto the table. He put his fingers on the bridge of his nose as he sighed loudly. “I thought it was just the mystery meat I’d eaten for lunch, but even after a bathroom break I’d been feeling weird still.” He shook his head with a hysterical laugh. “I thought maybe I just needed some sleep.The next thing I know i’m getting this huge headache and I pass out!” He looked at both men with a huge smile. “I woke up with a bloody nose and a headache the size of Texas.”

Dean was at the end of his patience. “The vision Chuck.”

Chuck shook his head. “I need paper and something to write with.” He said and Castiel was quick to comply with the demand.

Chuck sighed heavily as he began to write what looked like addresses. “The vision was a little fuzzy around the edges, but I got the gist of it.” He explained as he continued to write. He wrote down seven addresses then drew a line underneath them and began to draw a seal.

Both Castiel and Dean moved closer to the prophet to see what he was drawing.

“I’m not the greatest artist.” He babbled as he began to draw what seemed to be Enochian symbols inside the circular seal. “Whoever sent these images into my dome must’ve been in a hurry because this was all I got.” He finished off the drawing and handed the paper to Dean.

Dean snatched the paper from Chuck’s hands with a deep frown. He studied the symbol for along moment. “What the hell is this supposed to mean?” He asked.

“The Seven Rays.” Castiel, who had been quiet for the most part, spoke up. “It’s the seal of God.”

Chuck’s eyes widened and Dean stared at Castiel with a serious intensity that Cas hadn’t seen for years.

Dean carefully placed down the piece of paper and glanced at Chuck. “Leave us alone will you.” He ordered.

Chuck nodded and was out of his seat quickly. “I’ll just take this.” He said, grabbing Dean’s bottle of whiskey. He moved around Dean and patted Cas on the shoulder as he went. He paused in the doorway to glance back at the two men. “I’ve never been happier to be brain raped in my entire life.”

He shut the door with a quiet click on his way out leaving both men alone.

Castiel didn’t understand why the words he wanted to speak suddenly felt balled in his throat and stuck there. The hopeful news he needed to share with Dean was temporarily lost as the man he had once called his best friend stared at him. He realized, he could not read the expression on Dean’s face because there wasn’t one. There was nothing, but an empty stare that made Cas’s heart drop inside his stomach.

It was Dean who broke the spell first, speaking calmly. “I don’t like this.”

Castiel raised eyebrow in surprise. “What? Dean how can you-”

“Heaven doesn’t exist anymore.” Dean cut in sharply. “What if this is a trick? What if Lucifer is playing games with us?”

Castiel could understand Dean’s doubts. He knew no amount words at this moment would help convince Dean as otherwise. Swallowing hard, he moved even closer, ignoring Dean’s wary expression. Cas lifted his head as he evaded Dean’s personal space. He could feel the small spark of grace his brother had pushed inside of him and he was almost cowed by it. Almost once against brought the tears by the small spark he felt rushing from deep within him toward his fingertips.

 

“Cas?” started with a deep frown. “What the f-“ He trailed off as Cas placed his hand over the hand print burned into his shoulder. His eyes widened and he let out a loud gasp from the sudden rush of heat the rushed through his body. He pushed the former Angel’s hand away and stumbled backward into the chair he had been sitting in. Even without Castiel touching him, his body trembled as he still felt the aftershocks from such a simple touch. The former angel merely stared at Dean, his eyes dark with something he’d set himself to ignore for the past few years. “Cas, are you-”

“I’m still human.” Cas cut in. “That was just-” He trailed off as he tried to find the right words. “Absolution.” He tilted his head. “Now will you listen to reason?”

 

Dean nodded silently and Castiel began to speak of the visit he had from one of the most powerful angels in the universe.

88

 

‘The first ray of God’s will, power, strength, courage, protection and faith.’ Castiel paced the small space of his cabin as he fought to remember his teachings on the seven rays. He ran a hand down his face, feeling frustrated that the knowledge didn’t just come to him as it once did. His hands shook and his body trembled from a familiar need. His hands clenched as he fought the terrible urge to head into his stash. He could already taste the bitter pill on his tongue and if he closed his eyes he could feel the euphoric bliss of getting lost away from reality. It had been more than fourteen hours since his last pill and if he took just one he could organize his thoughts. He was already moving toward his stash, blindly picking up the bottle of amphetamines. He could take just one instead of the normal two and a half that he usually takes. He turned, bottle in hand, letting out an unmanly yelp as he came face to face with Dean.

He clutched the pill bottle tighter in his hands, feeling suddenly ashamed at being caught. A feeling he had long ago buried. “Dean.”

Dean eyed the pill bottle for a long moment before looking up at Castiel with an annoyed expression. “Rule number one for this little journey of ours,” He snatched the pill bottle out of Cas’s hands and tossed it onto the bed. “No pills.”

Dean was looking at him with that look that says he was a waste of space and Castiel responded the way he always would. “Of course fearless leader.”

Dean’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “We’re meeting in five.” He said stiffly. He turned to go, but paused to glance over his shoulder.

Castiel tensed as he waited for Dean’s cutting hateful words, but relaxed when none came. Dean merely shook his head once and left, flinging the beads to the side in annoyance.

88

“Why does it have to be just you two?” Risa asked and Castiel doesn’t hide rolling his eyes.

He hated her. Just because she was the “lieutenant” here at the camp and happens to be fucking their fearless leader more often than not she thinks she’s entitled to this important mission.

“Because it started with Dean and Cas and it has to end with them.” Chuck answered and she glared at him.

“What about finding the colt? For all we know you could be walking into a trap.”

“We have no leads on the colt.” Dean answered. “I need you here at the camp Risa. You and Chuck will be in charge.”

Dean was looking at her with a softness that had Castiel leaving in the middle of the meeting, ignoring Chuck’s question of where he was going.

 

88

 

Cas stuffed the few books he thought would be helpful into his duffel bag before zipping it up. He glanced up as Chuck came through the door.

“Dean’s waiting.” Chuck said. He handed Cas an envelope. “I was told to give th1is to you. Don’t open it until you’re sure you should.”

Castiel frowned as he turned the sealed envelope over. He glanced up at Chuck who shrugged. “Just doing what my noggin told me to do.” He smiled a bit hesitantly before continuing. “I think I should tell you that I saw-” He trailed off with a nervous laugh. “Just stay close to each other huh? I know you guys aren’t as close as you used to be, but maybe this journey will repair the relationship you-” He trailed off again as Cas turned and walked away from him. “Oh. Okay! Hey well be safe!”

Dean was waiting, truck loaded with weapons and supplies, he was talking to Risa who was standing close to his side as she handed him the keys to the truck.

“Don’t die.” She said gruffly.

Dean started the truck up. “Same to you.” He said and glanced over at Cas. “You ready?”

Castiel tossed his bag into the back and climbed into the truck beside Dean. “Let’s go.”

88

“It’s not so bad.”

Cas, who was busy staring at his hands turned to look at Dean who was watching him. “What?”

Dean shrugged. “Being human.” He moved to stand beside the former angel. “Sure some things suck ass, but there are some good things too.”

Castiel closed his eyes. “Like what?” He asked.

Dean was quiet for a long moment before answering. “Like a cold beer.” He said. He touched Cas’s arm so that he was looking at him. “An awesome car.”

Castiel’s lips twitched as he stared at the man he considered his best friend. “Is that all?” He asked with slight amusement.

“There’s getting laid-” Dean trailed off with a slight wince. “Uhh.”

Castiel turned so that he was fully facing Dean, uncaring that he was breaking the appropriate space rule. “I am glad that you care Dean.”

Dean shrugged. “Yeah well. World’s turning to shit around our heads. Gotta stick together.”

Castiel gave dean that creepy stare that always made Dean feel like the guy was staring through to his soul which sounded awfully girly.

“Cas, Man you..” He was cut off by Castiel’s surprisingly soft lips. The kiss was a shock, but very brief. So brief Dean would think it never happened because one moment his lips were full against Castiel’s fuller ones and the second later they weren’t. He blinked at Cas who seemed surprised by his own actions.

Dean licked his lips and placed an arm around Castiel’s shoulders. “Let’s get out of here before Bobby calls out a search party.”

Castiel was still frowning as they made their way through the junkyard toward Bobby’s. “Dean, I’m-”

“I’m going to teach you how to really kiss.” Dean interrupted softly.

888

Castiel’s eyes slid open as the truck suddenly jerked to the left. He glanced over at Dean who was staring intently at the road ahead of him. Castiel watched him silently. He wanted to reach out. How easy it once was to just touch the man he had once called his best friend. He turned away and glanced out at the passing scenery as they drew closer to their destination of Smithfield, Virginia. He closed his eyes, rubbing the uncomfortable ache he felt growing inside his chest. Dean had barely acknowledged his presence and he wanted to laugh at the fact that the fate of the world rested heavily on both of their shoulders.


End file.
